The Telly Nelly Blog

GLBT Television Picks 9.28.06

No surprises on "Project Runway" last night, eh?

Unfortunately the same can't be said for "America's Next Top Model" - for them to select Megan (the lesbian model) over Monique or another one of the truly ugly (both inside and out) girls was just tragic. You cannot tell me her photo was worse than the others - I thought she had a great look going, but I guess I know nothing! Of course I'll keep watching, if only to see Melrose and the twins take down the manner-less cow that is Monique next week. Tyra, you disappoint me, really you do. Perhaps you should teach your girls a few manners while you've got 'em...

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Survivor: Cook Islands"

8:00 p.m. ET - CBS

Huzzah - another fun night of "Survivor!" I love this season's cast, surely I do, and tonight I look forward to seeing the four tribes merge into one - it's always interesting to see who becomes an outcast and who takes the lead. As always there should be plenty o' skin, which makes all the girls and boys happy now doesn't it? (There's a reason we haven't seen "Survivor: Antarctic" now isn't there? If you're so inclined, tune in to root for gay castaway, Brad Virata. He's doing pretty well for himself so far, but we'll see what the merge brings - he just might be at risk, you never know.

"Smallville"

8:00 p.m. ET - CW

No, no gay dearies, but heck - with Green Arrow around, who needs gay? His outfit is hot! (And just a little queer my dears...tight leather always is!) But before we can get to the arrow-shootin' goodness, we've got to get through the whole Zod story line. Clark is still imprisoned in that nasty Phantom Zone leaving poor Martha Kent alone and preparing to kill the evil Kryptonian super criminal Zod. Screw the Zod - I want Oliver Queen (Green Arrow, of course!). I guess I'll have to wait for next week.

"Scissor Sisters Live"

9:00 p.m. ET - LOGO

Well, it was live when they recorded the performance in London's Trafalgar Square, that is. The concert features songs from the Sister's new album Ta Dah! and is a must see for any fans of the band. (That's me! I've got it bad for Baby Daddy.)

"Notorious: The Life and Death of Teena Brandon"

9:00 p.m. ET - Biography

The life and death of transgendered youth Brandon Teena is examined - his story is the basis for that rather sad and disturbing movie "Boys Don't Cry."

"Grey's Anatomy"

9:00 p.m. ET - ABC

So it's round two for "Grey" vs. "CSI" and we all know "CSI" is going to win again though "Grey" has more gay for sure. Peter Paige ("Queer As Folk") guest stars as patient Benjamin O'Leary and Steven W. Bailey plays Joe the gay bartender in this episode that has Cristina meeting Burke's parents under less-than-perfect circumstances.

"Crime Scene Investigation"

9:00 p.m. ET - CBS

I thought last week's opener was a little boring - in fact, I sort of fell asleep at the end. Of course I woke right up when Catherine got drugged while out on the town - here's hoping nothing truly horrible happened to her while she was out, though I'm sure she'll be in for quite the drama this season. Yikes, I'm uncomfortable just thinking 'bout it...

"Celebrity Duets" - Part 1 of 2 Part Season Finale

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

Since Jai Rodriguez is no longer in the running I won't be watching. But I know you, you're watching for the Hal Sparks. Shame on you, shame. He sucks! Really he does. (I don't care if you think he's cute - this is a talent contest and he's coming up short each and every week.) Even the lure of Lucy Lawless doesn't excite me after the sordid dealings last week - yup, call me bitter, Jai just shouldn't have gone, but I guess that's America for ya!

GLBT Television Picks 9.27.06

Hallelujah!

Finally a gosh-darn television post by yours truly - will miracles never cease? And you'll need me tonight dears, there's sooooo many good gay options!

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"America's Next Top Model"

8:00 p.m. ET - CW

There are still too many models to make a rational decision - I need to see more of their personalities before I can make up my mind! While of course I'd like to see lesbian model Megan make it to the final three (gotta represent!) I'm not terribly sure about some of the others. I definitely want Monique to go now - trashy, trashy, trashy. No manners at all - who raised this girl? Feral cats? Melrose can also go bye-bye, me no likey. I do, however, like the twins and CariDee. Brooke too. Tonight the girls get makeovers by Queen Latifah! Wheeeeeeeeeee - it's the best night! You know someone's gonna have a turd or two over her new hair...hope to *death* it's Monique. Ugh. She gives me rickets. I'm sure our feyish Miss J. Alexander shan't disappoint in his criticism of the models looks and behavior- much to my delight of course - and Jay Manuel will be on hand to make sure the photo shoots separate the wheat from the chaff. Figuratively speaking, of course. That'd be just plain silly.

"Bones"

8:00 p.m. ET - FOX

Gross, gross, gross!!!! Booth and Brennen and the gang discover a dead man dissolving in a bath full of household cleaning products. (I knew Comet was evil, I just knew it!) Gay Eric Millegan plays the geeky investigator, Zack Addy. I miss "Angel," I really do.

"Dancing With the Stars"

8:00 p.m. ET - ABC

NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I cannot believe The Scissor Sisters are scheduled to perform on tonight's show...ugh! Well, I guess I'd do anything for more fame and certainly more money so I can't blame 'em for likely taking their new hit single on "DWTS" to generate more fame and even more cash. Sigh. Of course I'll have to watch/Tivo this...even though I *LOATHE* this show more than any other. (With the exception of any programming containing Jessica Simpson in any way, shape or form, that is!) There's always gay in the form of judge Bruno Tonioli so if you're looking for the gay, yes, they've got some.

"No Dumb Questions"

8:30 p.m. ET - LOGO

If you too like the occasional transsexual documentary, this just might be for you! Male-to-female transsexuals visit family members and discuss their feelings. Don't cry for me Argentina!

"Justice"

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

While I'm not a fan of this show either, I felt it appropriate to point out John Benjamin Hickey (who played Philip Stoddard on the short-lived "It's All Relative")guest stars as Lloyd Barrett. Did I mention this episode deals with the creepy death of a single mom on a theme park roller coaster? (Just what I need thanks, I'm already terrified of 'em as it is but feel driven by the need to ride...)

"The Hill" - Season Finale

9:00 p.m. ET - Sundance

Tonight's finale has everyone in an uproar after Democratic Representative John Murtha announces the US should withdraw all troops from Iraq and Republicans force a yea or nay vote for the immediate withdrawal of troops. (We all know how that went now don't we...blah.) Eric Johnson is Congressman Wexler's gay Chief of Staff, which is probably a pretty sweet gig when things aren't all crazy. (Whenever that happens...it's been a pretty wild 5 years.)

"Bridezilla"

9:00 p.m. ET - WE

Interesting - a same-sex couple on Bridezilla? FANTASTIC!!! In this show about pushy, temperamental and over-the-edge brides, tonight we'll see Jon and Isaac plan their wedding - a three part special, even! Tonight they interview wedding planners and there's tension aplenty when they attempt to pick a ceremony venue. (It's *all* about location, location, location!)

"Fashion House"

9:00 p.m. ET - My Network TV

If you missed out on any of the "Fashion House" episodes this week, you can get a recap of the action tonight. As you should know, the rather scrumptious Tony Tripoli plays Maria's gay designer Hans, while Garrett Swann plays Maria's other gay designer, Harold. Ain't it great to have the gays? (Even if they don't get to do all that much...) Golly but I love that Tony Tripoli...he's so dreamy! (And obviously rather fit too...yum!)

"Project Runway"

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

If you were blindsided by last week's black & white rerun then you just weren't paying attention now were you? (Must read this blog every day dearies...soon it'll be better, faster - why, simply bionic and podcastlicious!!) Tonight Bravo dangles a fresh, new episode before our eyes but many wonder if it even matters since rumors of four finalists pervade every nook and cranny of "Project Runway" buzz. Of course I'm rooting for Michael and Laura...they're my favorites. (Even if I'm not sure Laura's designs are all that revolutionary, I'd still like to see her make it to the finals.) If you want the inside poop on "Project Runway," don't forget to check out Tim Gunn's podcast!

"Celebrity Fit Club 4"

10:00 p.m. ET - VH1

Gay comic ANT hosts this celebrity slim-down fest with Tina Yothers. Tonight it's episode seven so you know they're gettin' close to the end. I think this series has pretty much run its course, don't you?

"Little Death"

11:30 p.m. ET -

Now here's an interesting little film. Paul (Francois Delaive) is a gay photographer whose current project is creating a portfolio of images of men during orgasm. Fun job, eh? When he learns his estranged father is dying, Paul visits him with a rather odd agenda in mind...I admit, I'm rather curious!

Good Golly...

Oh dear...there's so little time in the day for posting, but I just had to say hello!

Anyone else watch the premiere of "Heroes" last night on NBC? (If not, you can catch the premiere repeat on Sci Fi this weekend, FYI.)

I enjoyed it...yeah, it was a little confusing at first with the whole Indian scientist thingy, but obviously they'll clear that mystery up as we go. Being a big ol comic book and Sci-Fi fan I have my theories, of course, and I think they're dead on after watching last night's premiere conclusion. But no, I'm not going to share - if I'm right, I don't want to ruin it all for ya!

And rumor has it they'll be bringing in a gay character later in the season, but not a super powered one. (Hey, you can't have everything!)

As for the heroes in "Heroes," I *love* Niki, the online porn/stripper woman with the power  to change places with her evil twin in the mirror...I'll watch just for her as I love the concept of harboring a bad-ass mutherf*cker in ones reflection. That and she's totally hot - even I, a total Nelly, know she's a yummy treat!

Okay, that's it for now kids - you're on your own with tonight's TV as I just don't have the time to blog what with my cross-country travels and work juggling. Craziness!

Oh, one more thing - very happy with the development of the characters on "The Class" on CBS - hope you watched it last night; if not, start tuning in now! (Or sadly, it will disappear forever.)

Alas...

Well, as you can tell from the lack of TV posting here there was *no* time for blogging earlier today. Sniffle...

Alas! (What, you want survivor benefits or something? Tough cookies!)

What's really sad is how Jai Rodriguez went out on Friday's "Celebrity Duets." For the first time in the show, I actually saw a *real* performance from one of the lackluster competitors - and wouldn't you know it, he got the boot. And with the biggest, gayest song possible with one of if not the most talented guest musical stars the show has seen yet. CRAZY!

I bet Hal Sparks feels really, really bad. (He totally, unequivocally sucked. Sucked big.)

Sorry Jai, but look at it this way - no more group numbers on Friday, right?

Will I watch next week? Now that there's no gay, no, I shall not.

The Telly Nelly in Transit!

Hello darlings, it's me - your favorite Nelly. (No, really. I *am* your favorite.)

I'm preparing for a cross-country move to a secret base far, far away from the hustle and bustle of New England and will be blogging as much as possible while in transit. However, should I miss a day you'll have to grin and bear it - if you have good medication (the kind that makes you dizzy) feel free to use it liberally should this become the case.

I hope to be at my new headquarters by Monday, October 9 but you never know...I'm easily lost!

Once I get to my new location I'll be all hooked up for more (BETTER) Telly Nelly stuff than ever and hope to soon have my own Podcast too - swell!

What's on The Telly This Weekend?

Oh, loads of good stuff...the "Desperate Housewives" premiere for one! But I'm not going to repeat myself with sooooooooooooo much on my plate (see my next post for more details) so you'll have to go to my weekly column at In Newsweekly for the full rundown of what's HOT this weekend...

And it's HOT, believe me!

GLBT Television Picks 9.22.06

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Cheetah Girls"

8:00 p.m. ET - Disney

Tonight the Cheetah Girls try their hand at lesbianism. Just kidding! God, are you sick or WHAT?

"Grey's Anatomy" - Season Premiere

8:00 p.m. ET - ABC

I can't promise you any Steven W. Bailey, but those doctors like to drink so it's likely they'll swing by for a pint from gay suds master Joe before surgery.

"Celebrity Duets"

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

Beware the group dance number - BEWARE! (Seriously, I get sooooo embarrassed for Lucy Lawless I'm thinking of joining a support group.) Which lucky celebrity gets put out of their misery by America tonight? While I'm sure any would like the chance to go, it's likely our gay Jai will stay in for a few more weeks to prolong the agony. (Is it obvious I'm not a huge fan of this show? Even Little Richard has his limits!)

"Fashion House"

9:00 p.m. ET - My Network TV

So Bo Derek might not be the best actress but you have to give her some credit for doing her best with some rather suspect scripting. While I dream of more Hans ( ) and Harold (Garrett Swann) action, alas - my sources tell me there's not a whole lot of gay heaviness down the line. But that doesn't mean you can't watch, of course - if you miss out on an episode (or two) you can watch the recap on Saturday nights...it's a week of fun jammed into one crazy hour.

"The Minor Accomplishments of Jackie Woodman"

11:00 p.m. ET - IFC

I dunno Jackie, getting unwittingly hooked on the hot new designer drug sounds like a pretty hip accomplishment to me. I rather think it wouldn't make the resume, but it's certainly something to tell the grandchildren! (I remember the time I became a right-wing nut-job...ah, those were the days, eh Pumpkin?) I wouldn't put it past Mitchell (the office gay) to get her hooked on the juice...he's so dirty and not in a good way. Seriously, he gives me pains.

What NOT To Watch?

"Men in Trees"

9:00 p.m. ET - ABC

You know why and so does she.

GLBT Television Picks 9.21.06

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"Survivor: Cook Islands"

8:00 p.m. ET - CBS

Brad Virata of tribe Puka Puka (love that name) is still in the game but that's not too impressive - there's only been one eviction so far. I don't think our darling gay castaway is in *any* danger but I'm also expecting the tribes to merge so who knows what'll happen. If the tribes don't merge into two larger tribes, I'll be quite shocked, you know. Just sayin', is all.

"Grey's Anatomy: Complications of the Heart"

8:00 p.m. ET - ABC

Hurrah for homos! Steven W. Bailey, who plays the gay bartender Joe, narrates this preview of what ABC has goin' on for the fall lineup. If you're curious about your ABCs, check it out. Me, I'm on "Survivor" and not veerin' from my routine.

"The Office" - Big, Fat, Gay Season Premiere!

8:30 p.m. ET - CBS

Tonight Michael outs the closeted Oscar (Oscar Nunez) and must pay for his heinous deed! Well, I'm sure the karma-kick won't be all that bad, dear Oscar had this coming. Now that the cats out of the bag, will Oscar get a little frisky friend? Another bean counter perhaps? (When I was in the corporate world there was a surprising amount of gay accountants. It's all the numbers - numbers make you gay! Just look at Stephen Hawking!)

"Celebrity Duets"

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

It's not as bad as "Dancing with the Stars" mind you, but we should still feel a little guilty for watching this rather sappy show about celebrities forced to sing to bad choreography. (They don't choose *all* their own moves do they?) I always end up feeling like the celebrities and guest musical stars are stalking each other in the American Idol Arena of Death the way they creep up and finally join together nearly inhaling each other's essence. (I bet Hal Sparks has bad breath.) So will Cheech Marin make it another week or will Jai continue to slide down the slippery ratings poll? Tune in and see - just beware, it's gonna get creepy at times, downright creepy.

"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation"

9:00 p.m. ET - CBS

I'm with everybody else on the whole out-of-control guest star thing (Danny Bonaducci) on "CSI" Vegas - it's not like they need gimmicks, the good writing takes care of that itself. (Please tell me the writing will still be good - I couldn't take a slow degradation into crap.) Tonight there's sexual tension during a John Mayer performance and a dead body turns up at the Cirque du Soleil Ka show...(I saw that show - it was incredible!)

"Celebrity Poker Showdown: Tournament 5 - Game 4"

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

If you didn't get your fill of the Manheim on "Lovespring International" this week you're a.) a fool and b.) seriously in need of more Manheim. You don't want to be undernourished after all! Brandi Chastain is also dipping into the chips, but I'm in it for Manheim to win it!

"America's Next Top Model: Cycle 7" Ramblings...

Okay, it was a fine opener - the two hours kinda felt long in the teeth, you know, but all in all they've got a fine batch of girls.

Monique must be killed. Or evicted. I couldn't take that stinkin' ho in my house!

The gay (Megan) is so much like Cycle 6's Molly Sue it frightens me. Hopefully she'll be able to master he poses - I don't know if she's got the outgoing personality Ms. Tyra and crew are looking for. We'll see how long she lasts.

Right off the bat, we (my trusty sometimes-assistant Paco and I) think three could be eliminated in the next episode - why not? Those five?

Jaeda - just don't think she's got the "it factor." Sorry hun!

Melrose - perhaps too old, or just a mess in general.

Monique - it's pretty obvious, eh? She's just too much of a bitch to make her antics tolerable.

In fact, we really want to see Monique go first - whore! Tramp! Rude whore tramp!

Is it just us, or is Tyra getting kinda puffy? She pregnant or just...um...enjoying the full splendor of life?

And Tyra? Cut the antics yourself - you're not an actress, please stop playing one on TV.

GLBT Television Picks for 9.20.06

What's on The Telly Tonight?

"America's Next Top Model: Cycle 7" - Season Premiere

8:00 p.m. ET - CW

The day of days has arrived - time to get that runway face on girls! Oh mercy mercy me, how queer am I? (Very, very queer my dears. I'm wearing my "Tyra Rocks" T-shirt today!) Finally we all get to sample the thirteen supermodel wannabes, but which adorable snippet shall be my favorite? (Tune in tomorrow for a very special Telly Nelly and find out!) Will it be Megan Morris, the 23 year old bartender from San Francisco who happens to be the sole lesbian model? I'm hoping she rocks as I do like to support my queer brethren! (Looks a LOT like Molly from Cycle 6 - hope she takes a better picture as I like that look quite a bit.) Remember the Twirl Sisters from last season; those two really gay guys who I guess actually twirl for a living? Tonight they make a resurgence - twirl bitches, twirl! That's very gay. Also very gay are Jay Manuel and Miss J. Alexander - welcome back ladies, I did so miss you all.

"Full Frontal Fashion: Under the Tents"

8:00 p.m. ET - WE

Go behind the scenes at the Olympus Fashion Week in NYC - lets hope there are no "Project Runway" spoilers! (Probably not - we're at the "PR" final four, who all exhibit in Fashion Week regardless of who places 1st through 3rd - they just don't show the fourth designer's line on TV.) But if you're into fashion (and you should be) and not into supermodels (or have Tivo) you must tune in!

"Justice"

9:00 p.m. ET - FOX

I'm so not into this new series (hate law dramas) but Erin Daniels (Dana from "The L Word") guest stars in this episode, which centers on a murder in an exclusive rehab center. So if you're into the Daniels, do tune in - otherwise check out the Lynch in "Criminal Minds."

"Criminal Minds" - Season Premiere - Now with 37% more Lynch

9:00 p.m. ET

The first-season cliff hanger is resolved in this premiere which has the team continuing their search for a kidnapped girl. Watch it for Jane Lynch, my favorite lesbian on prime time television and beyond!

"Project Runway"

10:00 p.m. ET - Bravo

Okay, what's the deal? This is a repeat? I swear, this looks like a repeat of last week's black & white challenge but I truly, truly hope I'm wrong and that the Bravo web site is mistaken. Must Bravo prefabricate and push the melodrama before *every* new episode? I mean, talk about building up false anxiety with Laura last week - I was really hoping for a major breakdown and all we got were a few moderate sniffles. Can't we just focus on the design without Bravo mucking up the flow with these odd little twists and schedule bumps? If Laura Bennett does well, she'll make final three. I used to think Uli and Michael were sure bets for final three, but now I'm not so sure about one-dress Uli. (Michael will be in for sure. How could he not be??? That's crazy talk people. Craziness!)